Best way to recognize a menu flaw
Douchebag. If that's the first word you hear about someone, you generate an impression instantly. If you listen to Fresh Air, donate money regularly to worthy causes, and don't believe first place should be the only place... then maybe you wouldn't pre-judge someone. But I'm a motherfucker and judging things is fun. Conversely, if the first word you tell me about someone is 'honorable' or 'trustworthy', then I know you're not talking about a Wall Street guy or Dubya. The same thing applies with food. Very often my eyes are drawn the words describing proteins. You get my saliva flowing when you talk about shrimp or bacon or steak. Easily you could follow the word of protein by saying it's simply dotted in the landscape like a scarecrow in a cornfield, and I wouldn't know better (Talk about short attention span, huh?). A seasoned eater should know better, but I feel like if a menu had a ratio of protein to everything else, then I could make a better decision. Like if you told me the first thing about a pizza is coppa or Capicola, then I would guess it's sorta prominently featured on the menu. But then the pizza comes and it's maybe 5% of total toppings and I feel like it was fucking a cheat. Before we get to the taste of the pizza though, let's talk about the bread.
On my last trip to Co, it was the first time that I paid for bread at a restaurant. Usually if the bread is free, I'm down with that. If it's not available, it's fine too. But if you ask me to pay for it, usually I much rather just order an appetizer. Asking the diner to pay for bread makes economic sense. A restaurant probably wastes a lot of bread if they offer complimentary bread service. Sometimes the bread is no good, sometimes it's so awesome you keep asking for more and that last batch just sits on the table by the time your meal is over. When bread is not free, you only get it if you really want bread, and you're likely to wolf it down with gusto. At Co, you can get your bread with butter, olive oil, ricotta, or aioli. I'm gonna go ahead and guess the bread at Co comes from Sullivan Street Bakery since the owner is the same dude. You might be overly satisfied with the bread if you're craving it, although at the end of the day it's just good bread. I've also had Chicken liver toast, which is a smaller portion than the bread, but might leave you more satisfied if you want something meatier.
And now onto my gripe... the server mentioned the coppa pie was the daily special, and that various other things were on the pizza. Yea... it's more like a fennel pie with bits of coppa. But the latter description probably doesn't sell well. No one's ever sold me a used car, but after eating this pizza it felt like that. Seriously, just look at the picture and you can count the pieces of coppa in ONE hand, and you ain't even gotta use your thumb. Eating the pie became an exercise in maze strategy. It's like you put a mouse in a maze and see if the mouse can find the optimal way out of the maze to the cheese. For me it was like, how do I construct my biting path in order to savor the coppa in the most optimal way. My brain is limited. Remember, short attention span? Now I must dilly dally to figure out how to make the most of each pizza bite?
I still like Co. Their pizza crust is still super awesome, maybe the best in the city along with Motorino. Maybe next time I go, I'll just stick to the pizzas on the menu because I know what to expect. There's too much guessing in ordering the special. You just never know what you're going to receive.
Co
230 9th Ave.
New York, NY 10001
212-243-1105
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Ah, the defective pizzeria that no one really knows how to pronounce... "kump," "koh," "kuh?"
It sucks that you had to waste precious brain cells on path of eating. Eating should be stupidly easy. Bite, chew, savor, swallow.
Nicholas
March 14, 2011 1:31 pm
Reminds me of the time my friend ate a tomato basil pizza. I've forgotten the name of the place but she received just one leaf of basil on her entire pie. We were even suspicious of the leaf since it was more like sage than basil. What a disappointment!
Hungry
March 14, 2011 1:55 pm
did you punish the server by leaving a small tip?
ang
March 14, 2011 9:21 pm
@Nicholas,
haha yea, I always went with 'koh', although the full name is Copane? I don't know how to pronounce that.
@Hungry,
You know, that reminds me of a time when they left off basil for me at a different pizzeria. I wonder if basil is the most frequent item left off of a pizza...
@ang,
Sadly no. I just doubled the tax.
Danny
March 16, 2011 1:58 pm
Wait... so what's the best way to recognize a menu flaw?
Mai
March 18, 2011 3:20 pm
@Mai,
Shit, I'm not sure. But don't order the special next time!
Danny
March 18, 2011 3:21 pm