Hill Country Chicken has average pies
The pies at Hill Country Chicken are like Nicolas Cage's career. Goddamn it's puzzling. How does one go from being awesome in Con Air to being the Sorcerer's Apprentice. Seriously, how does that work? This is just more proof that pies can't beat cupcakes. So get this, three little pies, at their widest, not longer than the diameter of my palm. But three of these dainty pies cost $12 dollars. Why? Because the menu says 'medium' pies are $6 while pie cups are $3. So one medium plus a pie cup gets ya to $12. Seriously. WTF? Don't be fooled by the close cropping of the pie with a star on there. It's cropped that close because apparently people like ginormous food pictures. I could walk to the Madison Square Park dog park across the street from Hill Country Chicken, find some Labrador that could swallow that apple pie in one gulp. It's small yo. The apple pie is supposedly combined with cheddar cheese, but I think all the cheese fell to the bottom because you couldn't extract the pie crust from the bottom of the pie tin. In reality, the apple cheddar pie was an apple pie with a cheddar enforced steel crust.
Things falling to the bottom seems to be a theme for Hill Country Chicken. After cutting into the coconut custard pie, one could see the little specks of vanilla all settled at the bottom. I suppose the taste was ok but... seriously, in college, I used to live on Entenmann's coconut custard pie for breakfast. That thing is like $3 bucks when it goes on sale and it's like five times larger. Big whoop, Hill Country Chicken probably used better coconut and real vanilla but... it made no difference. I was not swayed.
The one thing I thought was passable was the key lime pie with a pretzel crust. Don't get me wrong, this still has got nothing on the swingle. The main problem with this pie though is that I think this was the $6 dollar pie so really... one small key lime pie or three cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine. Hmmm.... yea. Easy choice.
I was pretty disappointed by the pies at Hill Country Chicken because I was prepared to be wowed. They're average at best and may induce you to wish for a cupcake instead. And now that it's the end of the year, there's a lot less blog posts to read. Why? Because it's all the rage these days to use slideshow lists. You know what I mean. Top 10/25/100 of 2010! And then you gotta click through all the slideshows. Ugh. Page loading slideshows are a pain in the ass. Listen assholes, if you wanna do slideshows, at least go learn jQuery. Use some AJAX yo. shit. So fucking annoying. HTML 101 bitches. Lists come in two forms in HTML. Unordered list with the tag of UL or ordered lists with the tag of OL. Fuck. Learn you bitches. LEARN. You live, you learn, you die. You take out the learning part, you jump straight to dying. And that's what I hope happens to slideshow lists. Happy New Year. Motherfuckers.
Hill Country Chicken
1123 Broadway.
New York, NY 10010
212-257-6446
(I invite you to follow me on Twitter so you can get more of my non-sense in another medium.)
To be fair, Nicholas Cage's career fall wasn't as meteoric as it seemed. National Treasure was okay, but no Con Air... it served as a gentle transition to pure suck.
As far as slideshows go... I've never been too much of an AJAX ninja, so I can't really comment on the efficiency of one way of doing things or another, but yeah... I am not a fan.
Nicholas
December 29, 2010 12:59 pm
Yikes! I guess I should finally learn html. Eh, probably another New Year's resolution to be forgotten.
hungry
December 29, 2010 1:48 pm
OMG, best end of the year post ever! Too funny, but I still prefer pies over cupcakes. Don't kill me now. Happy New Year!
bionicgrrrl
December 30, 2010 1:39 am
I too hate those 1 photo per page slideshows that take forever to load. School dem mofos.
luvsocks
December 30, 2010 11:26 am
I might as well get an egg tart in Chinatown for a 5th of the Hill's price.
Happy New Year!
kim
December 30, 2010 2:34 pm
You're being too kind - they are below average.
FN
December 31, 2010 12:13 am
@Nicholas,
Yea maybe I was too harsh on Nicholas Cage. I too, enjoyed National Treasure. haha. It's no Sleepless in Las Vegas though.
@hungry,
haha yea uh... HTML is really not necessary for blogging. Sometimes it seems like people just forget common courtesy though.
@bionicgrrrl,
Happy New Year! I love pies too. I just think it's harder to eat than a cupcake sometimes, cuz you need a fork and a plate. If pies took over, I'd be happy. But only affordable pies!
@luvsocks,
Thanks for joining in on the petition against slideshow lists!
@kim,
word. Actually we could probably say an egg tart is kinda in the pie form... and way better at just a dollar or less most of the time.
@FN,
You're right. haha. I shoulda really stuck it to them. Shit. They're pricey.
Danny
December 31, 2010 10:56 am
Actually, The Sorceror's Apprentice was fucking awesome, but it was not the tour de force that was National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Chew on this one for a while...
James
January 24, 2011 11:45 pm