Absolutely tasty bagels
Being a somewhat lactose intolerant dude with man boobies who watches Glee, there are days when I'm brimming with unmatched manliness. Hard to believe, but it is true. When the fruit cart guy down the street says, "Hey boss, what can I get you?" It's because he knows that I need the fiber. You might think that such a man would need something like a full English/Irish/Scottish breakfast in the morning. You would be wrong though because what I need for breakfast is a bagel with cream cheese. The cream cheese to remind me that not even Superman could save me stomach unless he carries lactase pills with me. And a bagel because gosh darn it, I don't fucking know. Near by home is this place called Absolute Bagels. It's run by some folks who are generous with the cream cheese and with ice cubes in your drink even if you ask them not to be. I call them... Asians.
Nicholas actually pointed me to the direction of Absolute Bagels and their delicious salmon and cream cheese sandwich. Note, a salmon and cream cheese sandwich is not the same as salmon cream cheese sandwich. That former is sliced salmon and cream cheese, while the latter is salmon mashed into little bits and mixed with cream cheese. The sandwich is one of those things people like to call New York Institutions. I'm not sure why because the only reason it reminds me of New York is that I see a lot of people eating it. This also means if I ever see lots of overweight people on a subway in a foreign country, I'll be sure to call that a New York Institution too.
So about that whole ice thing... Absolute Bagels has this drink called like cranberry Thai iced tea. It comes in two sizes, small and large. Basically a small is like 8oz or whatever. The exact number is irrelevant and you'll see why shortly. They take the cup, and fill it all the way up with ice, so that what you're getting is really a fraction of the amount that is advertised. Which as a cheap ass fuck, this bothers me because the drink doesn't last as long as the bagel. Even when you ask nicely for them to put in "not too much ice," they take that to mean 3/4 of the cup full of ice. This is something I would do if I were in business, because I'm Chinese. Sounds terrible and racist but hey... too bad. They're making money on the drink because it's full of ice. But whatever, I should stop being such a hater.
Despite their unimpressive ice policy, I still like their bagels. If you guys are ever by the Columbia University area on Broadway, you should look for Absolute Bagels if you get a chance. Because quite frankly, there ain't a lot in the area.
Absolute Bagels
2788 Broadway.
New York, NY 10025
212-932-2052
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@Nicholas,
haha, but you led me to the place, that's all that matters. What to order is always something of a personal choice I think. The thing for me about the cream cheese is that I wipe half of it off anyway. haha. It would be a great value if I ordered one without cream cheese and one with...
Danny
October 7, 2010 11:18 am
Credit shouldn't be given to me on the salmon cream cheese bagel... I couldn't have, I hate salmon haha.
It's true their drinks suck the big one when it comes to value, but what's also true is the fact that they schmear enough cream cheese on for 2 or 3 bagels. So in the grand scheme of things, you're breaking even/profiting.
Nicholas
October 5, 2010 3:28 pm
Incredible pictures Danny. My Dad and I love this tasty treat (harder to find where we live so we make it at our homes). I bet if I could find a breakfast place that carried it I would get a lot more accomplished in the mornings.
Our favorite won ton house serves Coke in juice glasses full of ice and opens the can behind the bar without bringing the rest of the can to your table...you end up with a 'taste' of coke. Thank goodness for tea. I feel your beverage pain!
Shine
October 10, 2010 8:35 pm