BK Buck Double
Dear Buck double... What can I say to you that hasn't been said before? Well, quite a lot actually since you're new to the scene. BK is just advertising you these days. The poster on the window drew me in and bam! I was gonna have you. After taxes, it's just $1.09 here in New York. And the three slices of pickles offered the first hint at fiber that I've had all day. That is, until you made me feel so guilty that I ran to the nearest fruit cart and bought bananas. You made me get bananas but didn't make me go bananas. And at the very least you didn't make me go.
You want me to share my feelings on you. I know we just got acquainted not long ago, and honestly the interaction was short and brief. You're petite, not like your cousin the double Whopper. There's no comparison actually. You're compact. The main characteristics stand out this way. You don't fuck around with lettuce or tomatoes. Those things are for people who don't know what lettuce and tomatoes taste like anyway.
In truth, I just wanted to say that you're my time machine. Really. It's been a while since I was reminded of school lunches in the 5th grade. When burgers tasted burnt even though we all know the school steams 'em. It's the ugly boob job of hamburgers. It makes me look because it's a freak show, but I can't stop just because it's a freak show. I mean, it's freaky. Damn it.
I would nickname you The Ketchup burger because I need lots of ketchup to actually eat you. I'm not saying you're not enough. You are. You do away with the frills like rabbit food. I respect that. Just think of ketchup as strawberry lip gloss. Actually, I don't think there was any such thing when I was a 5th grader. But that's okay. Buck Double, you take me back, and that's the whole point.
I'm gonna tell my friends about you, Buck Double. About how you're just $1.09 and how 5th grade never tasted so good. Maybe one day we'll meet again. You're the perfect companion on a trip to movie hopping. (Yes, mister shitty tipper also trounces on the little guys in the movie industry, sorry.) So until next time...
@Lamchop,
$1.09 is incredibly cheap... you do get what you pay for I suppose. The Buck Double certainly is no Shake Shack, but I've got a super soft spot for fast food!
Danny
August 26, 2010 9:57 pm
I can't believe this, but did you just write a love ode to a burger? That costs $1.09? From Burger King?
Nicholas
August 25, 2010 2:32 pm
yea I think it just happened.... haha
Danny
August 25, 2010 2:39 pm
hahaha loved this post. I love the "made me buy bananas ... made me go bananas ... didn't make me go" part. I don't think pickles can make you go! Aside from that, $1.09 for a burger is pretty cheap! Haven't had BK for the longest!
Lamchop
August 25, 2010 9:34 pm