Food in Mouth


Almondine in Park Slope

Last night Wii fit told me that I'm 45-years-old. As a 27-year-old, I'm not sure how to feel about this. And then the Wii fit told me that the optimum BMI is around 22 whereas mine is around 25. Whodda thunk it, a food blogger on the cusp of being listed as 'overweight'. If my mom is reading this now, she'll probably pick up the phone and call me in a minute to remind me not to eat too many hamburgers. Rest easy mom, I've only been eating french fries... and sweet potato fries... and fried dumplings. I suppose it doesn't help to eat pumpkin ice cream with a big spoon while I weigh myself... The thing is, I'm 5'8 and 166 and it doesn't feel like too much! Damn you Wii fit. So here's the kicker, the game asks you to set a goal. So I figured a good goal is to get to a BMI of 22. Guess how much weight loss that would require? 17 pounds!!!! Man I haven't been 149 since 7th grade. Crazy. Oh yea, so I also like to eat pastries. Lots and lots of pastries, because butter keeps my doctor on edge. To satisfy my urge, I went to Almondine


Almondine opened a new store in Park Slope, on 9th street between 7th and 6th avenue. Park Slope already has Sweet Melissa and Trois Pommes Patisserie, and one more patisserie can't hurt. Why, more places to get buttery croissants? Sign me up please. One morning before work I stopped by Almondine and had a croissant. It was buttery although for some reason it didn't blow me away. It was simply good enough and one that I would eat often. It was also like three weeks ago so my memory on the croissant is the least vivid of all the things here.


Actually what I enjoyed more than the croissant was the chocolate croissant. It was buttery and flaky and the dark chocolate on the inside was a nice complement to the butter. For someone who loves pastries so much, I can't possibly understand why my BMI is higher than normal.


One cool think about Almondine in Park Slope is that the macarons are $1. This price was easy to remember because I was shocked that it was so low. You can't really find macarons at that price anywhere in this city. Obviously, this wasn't going to be a top-of-the-line piece of delight. The filling wasn't as abundant as the more pricey macarons. The flavors aren't as pronounced either. However, when I think about the overall enjoyment, I was quite pleased. My personality will forever be hardwired towards the enjoyment-per-dollar frame of thinking, so things like this appeal to me. You'll be hard pressed for other Western pastries in this city that are as enjoyable as these, if you can only spend $1.


I'm actually not sure about what to do with this BMI development. There are many people who don't think the BMI thing is very legit since folks like Shaq has a terrible BMI. But for someone who weighs 350lbs, he's quite nimble, not to mention strong as hell. Seventeen pounds realistically would take around 17 weeks. Weight specialists would tell you that steadily losing one pound per week is about the most you should aim for unless you're morbidly obese or something. But man, 10% of my body weight is some serious shit right there. That's some biggest loser shit. It's ok though because I have a secret weight loss plan that involves some blood sucking worms from Central America, and some shadily manufactured diet pills from China that probably has some industrial ingredient in there. My very last plan is to buy a case of PBR, a pair of skinny jeans, and some flannel. And then hope that my faux-hipster ways will help me lose weight. After all, peer pressure is some strong stuff.

Almondine Bakery Park Slope
442 9th Street.
Brooklyn, NY 11215

Map to find Almondine Bakery Park Slope

Posted by Danny on

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  • that chocolate croissant looks huge! how much was it?

  • Lol, man that is a great post. That one really made me laugh.

    Ok, first off - Macarons are for chicks. That is not a criticism - I'm just letting you know. Whenever I gotta go buy them for my girl, I look around outside the store to make sure nobody I know is around. I only buy them with cash so there is no evidence.

    Next, 5'8" and 166 is just fine. If you had written 5'8" and 266, then you got problems.

    Finally, Trois Pommes RULES. I love that overpriced place.

  • this is why i don't check my weight or height and just make up numbers in my head. Today I am 6'2" and 175 lbs; I can also make gold come out of my butt.

  • @allix,

    Oh man, we must run in different circles. I actually really like macaron cafe. There are plenty of other places in NY that offer macarons for an even higher price tag...


    Agreed. I heard.


    Shit, it's only for chicks? Damn. I should wear a wig or something next time I go in and ask for some...


    Pooping out gold is very usefull these days, gold prices are through the roof. So that begs the question... does your gold poop raise the roof? I do believe so!

  • Wow!$1 for macarons is really cheap. I just got some from Macaron Cafe in Midtown for $2 a pop (which they are definitely not worth!):

  • Cafe Macaron is absolutely fantastic.

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