Real life cookie monster
There it was, beautifully glistening in the sun light, and it whispered to me. Normally cookies resting on park benches don't whisper, but my brain does weird things when it needs sugar. No one else was around and I sat next to the abandoned cookie to wait a bit, maybe the owner would come back for it. It was perfect and round and most importantly, it looked clean. Who knows how long it was left there, but I didn't care. My eyes don't lie. And if it looks OK to eat, that means it IS OK to eat. That's my college education talking right there.
Most of my friends know that I'll eat just about anything. There was that one time working at NYU, when my friend and I walked into a conference room after a party, and I picked something out of the trash can. It was ok looking and it was wrapped in plastic. Most importantly, it was a clean trash can. If it's a clean trash can, you can do anything. Jump around, play in it, eat from it.
Oh and it was sushi.
And when I was in high school, working as a busboy, I would always eat people's left overs when I took it back to the kitchen. All the busboys did it. You wait for a table that orders lots of appetizers, then when they're 'finished' you clear the table. Usually there's a piece here and there that you can quickly graze on before you have to rush back out again.
So I knew from experience that leftover food = yum yum yum. And my experiences are never wrong. After five minutes of guarding the cookie, I thought the owner would not be back so I took it. You can't sit there and eat it in case the owner comes back in the next five minutes and find you eating his/her half eaten cookie. Come on, that's bad form. Don't roll like that.
The cookie was crispy and chewy and chocolatey. It had all three characteristics of the cookie trinity. My preference these days lean towards the big thinner cookies rather than the smaller, rounder ones. Also, since I'm weight watching, eating half of a cookie was a good idea. Of course I had to break off the parts that were already chomped on, but you knew that already.
This is not something I recommend, nor is it something that happens that often. But when the opportunity presents itself, you always want to step up and meet it head on. You don't wanna pull a Michigan State. What a sad game last night. I also may or may not have made up half of this post just because I'm bored. There will be better photos later this week though. Last weekend my girlfriend and I went to Philly, so I'll have a roast pork sandwich post coming up. Mmmm... yum. Until then, don't eat cookies off the bench!
(I invite you to follow me on Twitter so you can get more of my non-sense in another medium.)
are you a freegan? do you dumpster dive too?
jae_em
April 7, 2009 3:22 pm
I'm impressed! That was one brave move!
Ambitious
April 7, 2009 4:13 pm
OMG, I can't believe you did that! So funny!!! I wonder if anyone was shooting this. It seems like a hidden camera type of thing. Now, the big question, were there bites out of it before you got there?
bionicgrrrl
April 7, 2009 5:11 pm
LOL I just laughed my head off!!! Mmmm the texture does look good though... I would've been tempted, but I don't think I would've done it....or would I? ;)
Veronica
April 8, 2009 2:09 am
Where was the cookie? It looks like the one of those from the cookie place on 13th and 1st.
Alice
April 8, 2009 12:38 pm
Also - on the subject of cookies, my boyfriend and I once did a Manhattan / Brooklyn crawl for the Best Cookie Ever. The winner meets your cookie trinity (crispy, chewy, chocolatey) and is also big and thinner. Want to hazard a guess?
Alice
April 8, 2009 1:26 pm
I'm going to assume that you made up the story about finding a cookie on a bench because that shot was way too composed (cookie on top of a bakery take out bag? come on).
Ang
April 8, 2009 10:12 pm
You like cookies more than I do. I wouldn't eat an abandoned one sitting on a bench!
Agnes
April 10, 2009 8:20 am
dayam! u are not a college student anymore man! crazy ass lol how does your girl think about it? she would never set lips on u ever again! lolz
i 2nd Ang =)
Steve
April 13, 2009 2:14 am
So it was you. My friend and I had a cupcake in a container with us this past Saturday in Brooklyn, and we put it on the bench at a store to try on shoes, when we turned around, it was gone. YOU STOLE OUR CUPCAKE!!!
Yvo
April 28, 2009 1:00 pm