Is Five Hour Energy a bogus energy drink
5 hr energy falls under the umbrella of energy drinks. The very first one I had was in college and it was Red Bull. I felt nothing. I compare energy drinks to the first few times I started drinking coffee. See, I had gotten my very first internship at this place in Midtown. A big company usually gives you free coffee. I usually put hot chocolate mix into my drink, because I didn't like the taste of coffee. Here's how you do it: 1 pack of hot chocolate mix + 1 pack of coffee from one of those instant coffee makers. Heaven. It made my heart beat so fast. Faster than some other life experiences I won't talk about because my parents read my blog.
Back to the energy drinks. They've gotta hit me like my first experiences with coffee. Otherwise it is a bust. If you've been diligently watching the NBA Playoffs like me, then you've been inundated with these commercials for 5 hr energy. If you don't know what it is, it's this little drink that's 1.93 FL oz and labeled as a "dietary supplement" Let's look at the ingredients.
Niacin as Niacinamide (30mg), Vitamin B6 as Pyridoxine Hydrochloride (40mg), Folic acid (400mg), Vitamin B12 as Cyanocobalamin (500mg), sodium (18mg), and "Energy Blend". The energy blend contains: Taurine, Glucuronic acid, Malic acid, N-Acetyl, L-Tyrosine, L-Phenylalanine, Caffeine, Citicoline. Then some natural and artificial flavors, sucralose, potassium sorbate, sodium benzoate, and EDTA. All this obviously equals boundless energy. I want energy like a bunny in heat.
4 calories. Can you believe all those ingredients just contains FOUR CALORIES? They promote this no sugar crash. I would dispute that based on the logic that sugar crash means you first must have a sugar high. Studies have show that sugar high is fake. Kids get excited about sugar and candies because it's usually restricted to kids. Humans are also evolved to naturally like the taste of sweet. The 'high' is in your brain. Remember the hysteria over food coloring? NY Times covered it. The study they sighted talked about giving kids coloured drinks. But since the study is behind a gate, I can't tell if the kids were blind folded. This sugar crash stuff is baloney.
If the kids in the study drank the color drinks while being blind-folded, would the food coloring have any effect? That is the kind of study that would test whether the food coloring has intrinsic properties that make a child hyper. Or if brightly colored cereal or drinks is like pornography to younger eyes.
On Twitter I talked about how this 5 hour energy drink was like cough syrup marinated with toe jam. Icky. You need a chaser. Water is not enough. Did I feel mildly more energetic? Yes. Was it a placebo effect? Possibly. Did my heart race violently like the first few times I had hot chocolate + coffee? No. Not even close. Also if you don't follow me on Twitter, follow me on Twitter.
I still haven't figured out the next step for my blog. Steph feels like video is the natural progression. I agree with her. Showing my face is out of the question though. That means videos would be difficult. Podcasting is a thought too. How many of you listen to food podcasts?
(I invite you to follow me on Twitter so you can get more of my non-sense in another medium.)
you could wear a mask? like in lucha libre.
Jonathan
May 20, 2011 11:29 am
I've had that 5 Hour Energy stuff before. I don't think it's supposed to make your heart race. It's supposed to give you 5 hours of energy, right? A balanced time release drink? I don't know. Anyway, I didn't feel racy either though it also wasn't tired. I worked well enough for me.
Oh yeah, why did you pick pomegranate flavor? You know very well with artificial stuff, you have to pick the most artificial flavor: grape. It's not toe-jammy to me.
hungry
May 20, 2011 1:20 pm
haha, way subtle bro. FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. NAO.
You know what would be an appropriate "next step?" If you dropped a bomb on the readers revealing that you're actually an Asian girl named Danielle. Bam. Instantaneous pageviews.
Nicholas
May 20, 2011 6:21 pm
@Jonathan,
Great idea! For some reason I never thought of that. Usually my thoughts went towards just being off camera. haha
@hungry,
See, they advertise that it has as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. Same active ingredient, I'm looking for same effect. The pomegranate flavor was only because I got this from a plane. It was the only flavor they had.
@Nick,
haha, that's how i flow now! I just tell people to follow me on twitter. haha. And maybe along with a mask, I'll get a wig.
Danny
May 24, 2011 2:02 pm
Not a fan. I too like "feeling" my energy drinks like a sack of bricks to the face. If you're used to drinking anything over 1 cup of coffee, you're unlikely to get much of a kick from these.
Rodzilla
June 17, 2011 9:23 am
Methamphetamine gave me rush I did not experience from either coffee or energy drinks. Now that's like being hit with a brick in the face. It did make me feel a little bit on edge for the next day and a half. Sugar crash my foot.
Similarly, heroin gave me a rush and euphoric effect that I did not experience from doctor prescribed tramadol. Clearly the pain killer efficacy of tramadol is greatly exaggerated.
Beckett
April 11, 2012 11:18 am