Sunday haiku and stupidity
Sunday haiku on a Tuesday. Oh how far this has fallen... You see, I spent the entire weekend under the sun and baked like a little potato. The back of my neck is not happy but my stomach was. I hate to say it but this is kind of a throwaway post today because this was supposed to go up on Sunday and I used up all the BBQ post on sat and Monday. Ooopsy. This is one of my favorite haikus in recent weeks though. Just to let you know the blog might take a break for about a week as I recharge my batteries in the Pacific Northwest. A friend is getting married up in Portland and I am gonna go up there and fill up my belly. Already planned out five meals but have no idea what I am going to do in between meal times... pssssh. Anyone been to Portland before? Anyway, let me end this by telling you a story about Sunday.
Before I tell this non-food related story, maybe you should know that between my friends and I, sometimes we tell "Danny stories." And basically what that means is that we have stories of my asinine behavior or utter ridiculousness... needless to say, my self-respect takes a hit after each retelling of a Danny Story. But I treat self-respect like money - I try to save as much of it as possible. Here we go...
After the BBQ on Sunday, I decided to walk from 23rd street all the way to Brooklyn. (Google maps says this is a 4.5 mile walk.) Actually what happened was that I really wanted to buy a deep fryer and Broadway Panhandler was on 8th street, which was walkable. They did not have one, therefore I went to Crate and Barrel on Houston, and they did not have one either. After a day of hanging out in 90 degree weather and eating BBQ, naturally what I wanted was a slice of pizza.
I walked by this place called Lasso and ate a slice then saw the bridge in the distance. "Maybe I can walk home! Fun!" Then I looked up in the sky and it was kind of gray... Undeterred I marched towards the bridge. When I got to the bridge, it started to rain. This was a concern because if the bag got wet, it would drip onto the camera. I decided to then wrap my t-shirt around the camera bag as extra protection and march forward.
So there I was, half naked with a half wet camera bag in the middle of a bridge and the rain started to come down harder. I looked to my right and realized something was super duper wrong. I need to walk across the Manhattan Bridge to get home, and when you are on the Manhattan Bridge, there is a majestic view of lower Manhattan and the Brooklyn Bridge. My view? Absolutely nothing. Almost halfway on the bridge, I realized that I was on the Williamsburg Bridge instead of Manhattan Bridge. WTF. Seriously, my mind was like, "WTF WTF WTF WTF YOU IDIOT YOU IDIOT YOU IDIOT WHERE IS YOUR MIND?!?!"
At this point you should know that A. I have lived in New York for eight years. B. my subway ride to work takes me across the Manhattan Bridge EVERY FRIGGIN DAY. C. the Manhattan side of the Manhattan Bridge links to Canal Street, and I have seen that entrance about 80 billion times because I am always in Chinatown. So why on earth did I choose to get lost in the middle of a rain shower?!?!? Uh... anyway...
Gonna chalk that one up to the sun and how it just tricks your brain... but yea, I need to buy a map next time.
(I invite you to follow me on Twitter so you can get more of my non-sense in another medium.)
DOH!!! But I love Danny stories =)
This is required
June 10, 2008 2:03 pm
Oh my god Danny, YOU DO NOT NEED A DEEP FRYER!
Janice
June 10, 2008 3:19 pm
Maps are overrated.
And don't listen to Janice, you SO need a deep fryer :)
Justin
June 10, 2008 3:38 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHA. You didn't notice that there weren't any subway trains on the bridge? This is funnier than the time you messed up the lemon bars because you couldn't read dimensions for the baking dish. So did you turn around or did you walk to Billyburg?
Ang
June 10, 2008 9:09 pm
Mwwwoooooaaaaah hahahhah ;)
I like Danny Stories
June 10, 2008 9:41 pm
1) I can see how after a day in that heat, you got easily confused.
2) You so need a deep fryer. You can have a deep frying party where we make stuff like fried chicken and french fries and hush puppies and beignets.
Blondie
June 11, 2008 9:25 am
Janice,
But.. but.. I LIKE FRIED FOODS!!
Justin,
You are right, men do not need maps! We just need... gumption. Or something. And when I do get the deep fryer, we can make some fries as Janice watches.
Ang,
Actually the J train came on the bridge right as I turned around to walk off the Billyburg bridge. Then I was all like, Duh, the J does not go on the Manhattan bridge! Idiot!
anonymous,
Ok :)
Blondie,
Yea totally, I shoulda taken a nap like you did. And thank you for supporting the deep fryer movement! Mmm.. fried chicken and hush puppies... that is a good combo!
Danny
June 11, 2008 11:28 am
Hm.....when did it start to rain Saturday? LOL that is funny......so you walked all the way to the LES and not realized it? lols You're so silly!! You shoulda went to Sugar Sweet Sunshine to treat yourself for all that trouble!
wonders
June 11, 2008 12:33 pm